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We've had a few questions lately asking about when exactly Harold is sent to the presses, and our promise to you is that by 4pm everyday a fresh edition will be rolling out of our brand spanking new printing facility here in the heart of Cyberspace Central. And if it's not out by 4pm, then it will probably be out shortly afterwards - and that's a fact. But we're aiming for 4.
OK, for those of you waiting for 'something special', as promised by Harold over the last few days, can at last stop waiting. The delay is over. Well, actually that's not strictly true. You can stop waiting over the weekend, but if you want to start waiting again next week while we get this whole thing sorted out, that's OK, too. We apologise for the inconvenience. Your readership is important to us, and your words will be arranged by the next available em, you know, thingy person.
Archives: February 2010
Saturday 27 February 2010
Keywords: the, time, has, come, to, say, fair’s, fair
ITEM It seems that Mr P Garrett of a Parliament House Environment Minister’s office near you has been called into Mr Rudd’s suite for a meeting of the ‘how’s everything going, Pete, we need to have a little chat about what’s been happening, don’t we?’ kind. Mr Garrett no doubt assured his leader that he thought everything was going quite well, really, there were a few teething problems with the insulation, but that’s all been sorted now that the fires have been put out and the electricity’s off. At this point Mr Rudd stood from his chair and came forward to sit on the corner of his desk and asked Mr Garrett what he would do if he was a US military commander in, say, Kandahar, and he found one of his men who had done really, really good leading had also accidentally left a few dozen boxes of high explosive and thousands of rounds of ammo lying around in a place where the Taliban could find them. On the one hand the minister had done well but on the other hand he’d totally stuffed up, but on the other hand there was no point blaming anyone, these things happen and we recognise that, but on the other hand we’re going to be doing an awful lot of ducking, dodging, weaving and associated defensive actions for the next little while, do you see where I’m heading? Just pretend that your parliamentary career is the same as your musical career, Mr Rudd no doubt intoned, in that despite your early promise it hasn’t really gone quite where you wanted it to go, there was sometimes a lot of noise, but in the long run the volume faded away, although you have a fair bit in the bank by now. So what we’re gonna do is take away even more ministerial responsibilities from you, because if we take them all we’re gonna look like we stuffed up, and we don’t want that, even if we have. So you’ll be Minister for the bits of the Environment which aren’t being looked after by other people like Penny Wong and Greg Combet and other people who I'll name later. Will I still get a car, asked Mr Garrett. A great big gas guzzling tax payer funded one, Mr Rudd assured him. And lo, there was harmony in the office as the two men then did a bit of jamming on some of Mr Garrett’s old hits, although Mr Rudd never did quite seem to be able to get the rhythm right.
Keywords: the, future, is, so, passé
ITEM It seems that old science fiction movies are being used as the inspiration for some contemporary inventions, with researchers checking out original series Star Trek, The Jetsons and even Harry Potter to come up with new ideas for stuff. The Back to the Future hover board is about to get off the ground, we'll soon see invisibility cloaks in the stores, mobile phones are walking out the doors and teleporters can beam up light beams. The scary side to the equation comes at looking at a range of other science fiction works (the Dune series of books comes to mind) which look at the after effects of climate change, or Logan’s Run and Soylent Green which look at the after effects of climate change or Mad Max or The Postman which look at the after effects of climate change.
Keywords: lock, ‘em, up, and, bash, ‘em, round, the, head
ITEM NSW’s approach towards some of the ‘most marginalised and disadvantaged young people’ in the state has apparently been to lock ‘em up. Apparently nearly half the kids in juvie have or are close to having intellectual disabilities. In addition a large proportion also have parents who, as part of their job as role models, have also done time or are doing time. As well, 65% of all young prisoners have been hitting the whacky weed, the grog, the gear, crystal or some other means of self medicating in the year before they went to court. It all suggests that putting people in jail to learn right from wrong, to teach ‘em a few harsh lessons and knock the badness right out of ‘em might not be quite so straightforward, particularly if 45.5% of them have an IQ below 79. Expect a vast reform of the penal system with an emphasis on rehabilitation, support and education any day now. Yeah, right.
Keywords: House, to, home
ITEM Mr O seems have spent a lot of time over the past few days resurrecting his hopes for health care reform in the States. Harold wonders why the drama has dragged on this long. Why hasn’t the Prez called for the one person who actually has a chance of fixing the mess the American health system is in, Dr Gregory House. OK, so we all know House is fictional, but surely House-like techniques could be used to score a home run on health care reform. Mr Obama should randomly apply various measures which keep on nearly killing health reform while having a whole heap of arguments with just about everyone - even the attractive staff members which surround him - with the hope that one strategy will finally succeed so he can then claim heaps of kudos and move on to the next patient. Oh, wait, that is what’s happening. Sigh.
Friday 26 February 2010
Keywords: Mossad, ironically, saves, bacon
ITEM Who knew that a Mossad assassination squad had a secret plan for saving the political skin of Australian Environment Minister Peter Garrett? Yet this appears to be the case after it was revealed that Australian passports were used by the small army of highly trained intelligence operatives who managed to have their photographs taken in just about every corner of Dubai the other week. Disclosure that the passports were ‘borrowed’ from good Australian citizens living abroad has reduced pressure on Mr Garrett and allowed the Prime Minister to express outrage at someone from another country rather than someone in his own office, party, aeroplane or parliamentary chamber, which you have to agree is a refreshing change for the front pages and television news items of the nation. Nothing quite says ‘Go Kevin!’ as seeing your leader full of invective spleen protecting the rights of fellow citizens to live in another country without someone using the big photocopier on their private travel documents. Quite how the whole scenario is going to pan out from here is a little hard to say, however Harold expects that some of the people who had their identities purloined might get a few Tonight Show type gigs, Mr Garrett will probably slink home and keep a low profile for a while to try to get away with it and 26 people inside a secret headquarters in Israel will probably stop high-fiving themselves after they realise they’re being shouted at by senior Mossad commanders really annoyed about all the photographs, headlines and Australian Prime Ministerial frenzy. Or maybe just the photographs and headlines, anyway.
Keywords: save, the, humans!
ITEM It seems the whales might have started to voice their own opposition to various kinds of research being conducted by the Japanese Department of Science and Sushi in the Southern Ocean. In Florida, Tilikum, a 30-year killer whale, apparently grabbed 40-year old Dawn Brancheau from her spot on the edge of the pool where she was rubbing him, presumably affectionately, and dragged her underwater to her death in front of hundreds of appalled audience members. The five and a half tonne orca has been implicated in two previous human deaths, although rumours he is employed on a part-time basis by Mossad have yet to be confirmed or denied. Family members of the dead trainer have reminded SeaWorld owners of Dawn’s commitment to animal rights and asked that the whale not be punished. Meanwhile, somewhere in the Southern Oceans, similar calls for leniency towards other aquatic mammals go unheeded as another harpoon is fired. Of course the two events aren’t really linked. Or are they?
Keywords: Obama, tries, to, save, health, care, skin, and, hope
ITEM Meanwhile in Washington, Mr O has allowed the TV cameras to roll as he held a day-long health care summit designed to show people the process of argument, debate, point scoring and nitpicking that comprises the modern political decision-making process, while also hopefully moving along his program of reform. 40 Congressional leaders were invited to a six-hour debate with the intention apparently being to ‘get something done.’ Possibly one of the main obstacles to the lack of an effective outcome, however, is that the meeting was essentially a lot of rich folk arguing about how best the poor folk should be protected, without of course wanting to spend overly much on them, or indeed having them there in the room. Poignant carefully researched anecdotes are one thing, but one wonders if the presence of a couple of uninsured, ill indigent people might have moved things along a bit. As it was, the people in suits did a lot of talking, some no doubt designed to make them look important, knowledgeable and caring, while out in the cold of Back Street USA a whole lot of people who don’t feel important are probably far more knowledgeable of the situation, and probably care a whole lot more about the meeting's outcome. The Prez appears to be arguing their case passionately, but questions of politics are now starting to impede him. If he fails in this first great test of reform, will he even be sitting in the Oval Office in a few years time. And if he isn’t, will somebody like Sarah Palin be there to replace him? Ye Gads. It might not just be America's poor who need help soon...
Thursday 25 February 2010
Keywords: lights, camera, fire!
ITEM It seems that the hit squad who headed to Dubai the other week to dispatch Hamas leader Mahmoud al-Mabhouh used at least three Australian passports in the operation. Melburnians Nicole Sandra McCabe, Adam Marcus Korman and Joshua Daniel Bruce – or Nicky, Ads and Josh as we like to call them – either had their identities compromised or else are living shadow lives that their families will be very surprised to hear about, what with all the subcontracting to Mossad, the Israeli equivalent of the CIA. (By the way, it’s unlikely that Nicky is really involved in Mossad. If I found the right Nicky on Facebook, it seems she loves Melbourne, gay marriage, the Stig, weekends, maltesers, chocolate, Danny Bhoy, Falcor and, tellingly in terms of the likelihood of her secretly working for an intelligence agency, nanna naps.) In all, it now seems that 26 people comprised the actual assassination team, which seems a lot when you think of it. Does it really take the equivalent of two cricket teams to remove one Palestinian leader, even if one of the teams plays like the current West Indian squad?
Harold feels that the 26 people probably comprised the following lineup. Person who actually did the killing. Doctor who ensured the death was really fatal. Someone to keep watch while the killing was done. Another couple of people to keep an eye on corridors, distract unsuspecting intruders and suavely chat up cocktail waitresses. Someone to write material and supply team members with a ready supply of wisecracks in order to appear cool like American and British spies, and keep morale up. An OH&S supervisor to keep everyone safe. Well, not
everyone, obviously. Duh. Some trainees. An event co-ordinator for the after mission cocktail party. Office lackey to co-ordinate tickets, hotel rooms and ammo. Wardrobe person to handle all the-make up, costume changes, wigs etc. A caterer. Various support staff, secretaries, code breakers and locksmiths. And a producer, co-producer, executive producer and somebody’s nephew as an associte who had to be on the payroll as part of the deal we made back when the synopsis was first presented.
Keywords: there’s, nobody, here, but, us, racists
ITEM Even as the UN has suggested that the government might want to tone down some of the inherent racism of the Northern Territory Intervention the other tone, this one the leader of the Queen’s Own Federal Opposition, seems to be suggesting that we should up it a bit. The folk in Geneva are a bit miffed that restrictions on various aspects of welfare, pornography and alcohol only seem to be applied to Aboriginal people. ‘These measures involve racial discrimination’ says Professor James Anaya who spent some time on the ground in the NT last year, adding that it’s the ‘differential treatment of indigenous peoples’ which is the really upsetting aspect. Meanwhile the government has suggested that one day in the future possibly maybe it might consider applying the restrictions to more people than just Aboriginal people although there is a fair chance that this won’t happen until after the next election, or possibly the one after that depending on how things are going, or maybe even some time later on. Mr Abbott, however, apparently feels that a nation-wide ban on takeaway alcohol sales in Aboriginal communities is the way to go. That and withholding 75% of mining royalties heading to Aboriginal people and instead putting them into an ‘indigenous futures fund’ which would be used for large projects rather than be spent in a discretionary fashion by the communities who collected it what with the mining on their land and all. Just what the UN, the Aboriginal people and other people, like the Australian Human Rights Commissioner will make of Mr Abbott’s plan is hard to say but the words, ‘draconian,’ ‘patronising’, ‘discriminatory’ and ‘a return to the distant, missionary filled past’ all come to mind.
Keywords: take, that, you, ninjas!
ITEM It seems astounding to Harold, but it has been reported that the US would lose a cyberwar if one started today. This is despite millions of American teenagers having improved the dexterity of their thumbs to an alarming degree as they battled various ninjas, aliens and ninja aliens in front of the TV consoles that have comprised the only views they have known for so much of their young lives. In what heralds a worrying moment for free speech and the world as we know it, a cybersecurity expert at the Centre for Strategic and International Studies, James Lewis, has suggested that US government intervention might be needed to ‘crack down on the “Wild West” the internet has become.’ Just what the Prez thinks of this is unknown, although one suspects he wouldn’t be adverse to the odd immersion into the world of Halo or Counter Strike, however he always has the War Room as back up if things start going horribly wrong. Or perhaps he yearns for a good game of Social Reform, where you collect points for each person you save from the street, get into rehab, find employment for and then collect taxes from.
Wednesday 24 February 2010
Keywords: kick, them, when, they’re, down
ITEM Leader of the Queen’s Own Federal Opposition, Tony Abbott, has been doing more thinking aloud, although possibly it was musing, although conceivably it was only muttering and the occasional burble. Whatever, the upshot is a range of proposed new measures to make Australians more financially responsible, and by that I mean hitting the poor pretty hard. Income quarantining, lifting pension age eligibility, increased prices for smokes and grog, tighter disability pension requirements and even greater work for the dole ‘mutual responsibilities’ are just some of the measures Tony intends to use to ensure that income taxes don’t have to rise, especially for those in the higher income brackets. Hitting the welfare-dependent poor has always been a popular goal for the Liberal party, but it has to be asked whether schemes to reduce the amount of people dependent on welfare might be more successful than just cutting access to government benefits for those who need it. Yes, there are people who will blow the whole wad on grog or the gear or various stimulants and hallucinogenics in between, but surely the point is that these are the very people who should be guided towards counselling, rehabilitation and income management schemes in order to reduce their dependency on government dollars. Reducing their income without offering alternative forms of help is just cruel. The need to save money in this way stems from the fact that the Opposition – and the ALP as well on occasion – seem to live in a strange world where they pretend that taxes can continually be lowered while expecting to see greater government spending on just about everything, including the increased costs of an aging population, more expensive medical bills, more prisons, more police, not to mention the military wanting new aeroplanes and boats, and did someone mention transport, global warming and the internet? At some stage, taxation levels will have to rise. The onus then should be on the government to ensure that the money is spent appropriately – not on the poor to suffer further deprivation.
Keywords: it’s, only, taxpayers, money, who, cares?
ITEM Speaking of appropriate spending, it seems that the NSW government apparently faces a bill of around $330 million for the Metro it is now not going to build. It is worth noting that this is twice the anticipated costs of the total amount of money allocated to ‘complete cycleways’ in Monday’s NSW Government Transport Blueprint. Really, I have nothing more to say on the subject, other than referring readers to the first part of the last line of the preceding paragraph. OK, I have one more thing to say. How do these people still expect us to vote for them – any of them – when they chuck the cash away so freely and so irresponsibly?
Keywords: spend, like, there’s, no, tomorrow, which, for, the, NSW, ALP, government, there, isn’t
ITEM Speaking of government spending, and I think it has been mentioned once or twice recently, someone has started questioning whether the prices placed by the NSW government on some of its proposed new train systems might be a tad on the high side. The north-west rail link is budgeted to cost $6.7 billion, yet private consultants have apparently suggested maybe $3.7 is nearer the mark – having in fact based their estimation on NSW Treasury costings. While the extra 3 billion will no doubt ensure various developers are rubbing their hands together with glee as they prepare their tender documents and next heli-skiiing holiday, conceivably an entire state-wide system of cycleways could be built with the leftover money if the government actually did the math properly.
Keywords: stand, by, your, man
ITEM Meanwhile in Federal parliament, Mr Garrett is still under some fire from the Opposition after nearly a hundred houses which were recently insulated – ironically because, in part, the intention was reduce carbon going into the atmosphere – have themselves burned down, not only contributing to global carbon emissions but also to calls for Mr Garrett’s resignation. As Mr Rudd has apparently now given a ‘firm guarantee’ that Mr Garrett won’t be sacked and has taken responsibility for some of the schmozzle himself, expect to see Mr Garrett’s imminent demise any day now when the Opposition turns up the burners on Mr Rudd as the person responsible for Dodgy Bros Insulation Inc. Once this goes on long enough, you can expect the PM to dump his Environment Minister like a hot Mr Potato Head.
Too harsh? You decide...
Keywords: yes, no, fire, oops
ITEM Meanwhile, in Afghanistan, US Special (Ed) Forces have demonstrated their incapacity to distinguish between a busload of civilians and Taliban militia (27 dead, sorry, y’all). The attack ironically took place even as another US offensive got under way designed to win the hearts and minds of Afghanistanis in Helmund province. Quite how the Afghanistanis distinguish between the 'good' guys killing them and the 'bad' guys killing them in order to decide whether to support one or the other is a little hard to say, but at least someone in the US military admitted that, ‘It doesn’t look like the rules were properly followed.’ No doubt this will be some compensation to the families of those who died.
Keywords: O, Harpo, 0
ITEM In Washington Mr O is preparing to have another crack at health care reform, although it has to be said that the original document is now starting to look somewhat tattered, what with all the crossings out, notes in pen, deletions, additions, removal of additions, scraps stapled to it and then torn off and general ripping apart of entire sections in a sort of Marx Brothers ‘party of the first part’ kind of Congressional routine. Still, it’s better than nothing. Isn’t it?
Tuesday 23 February 2010
Keywords: Lord, of, the, Files
ITEM The government is about to release its Counter-Terrorism White Paper which might work to distract the Queen’s Own Federal Opposition, and possibly even the media for a nanosecond or two, however the scent of blood is strong, and the person facing the descent of Mme Guillotine's razor-sharp blade of parliamentary justice right now is the embattled Environment Minister, Mr P Garrett. For someone whose key attribute thus far as head honcho of the nation in terms of plants and animals and rocks and things is that he has done bugger all, it is something of a jolt to see him now so strongly accused of having stuffed something up. Sadly, the one defence that makes the most logical sense – ‘it wasn’t me, I’m just a figurehead!’ – is the one he isn't allowed to use. As figureheads go, of course, he is distinct, however instead of raging around the floor of the chamber in the way he once went off in various of the nation’s pubs, dance venues and beer halls, Mr Garrett’s behaviour since coming to Canberra has been sadly circumspect. The folk wanted to see your fire, sir, not this damp squib acquiescence more worthy of an Australian Idol contestant facing the wrath of Dicko. Hopefully the shiny cover of the aforementioned White Paper will distract people, but I can't see it being for too long. The slow motion road accident that is Mr Garrett’s ministry and the calls for his head have now achieved a momentum of their own and the cries of the children are too loud. Sucks to your ass-mar, Mr Garrett. Kill the pig! Cut his throat! Kill the pig! Bash him in! Oops, sorry, got carried away there for a moment with the excitement of it all...
Keywords: proper, digital, examination
ITEM As we’ve previously noted here in Harold, thinking aloud should never be mistaken for policy utterings, and it seems neither should comments regarding bribery and free-to-air television networks, not unless you want to piss off a bunch of media moguls and have them tweak their editorials unfavourably against you in an election year. Yet it seems that young Tony has managed to do just this, with Seven Network head honcho Kerry Stokes voicing the fact that he is disappointed Mr Abbott should choose to see $250 million worth of largess offered by the government as anything other than fair compensation for all the digitising that people have had to undergo recently. While also revealing the difficulty of having in-depth conversations with Senator Stephen Conroy while on the ski slopes together the other week – why did he not invite the senator to the front of an overlarge fireplace in a handy alpine lodge for a snifter or two of brandy? – Mr Stokes appears to feel that it is fine for the government to hand over the cash to the TV stations without asking for anything – like an increase in local content provisions, for example – in return. It seems a shame Senator Conroy didn't raise the issue, whether as a whisper on brandy-scented breath or shouted at high speed on the piste. The digital stations are an interesting social phenomenon, but just how long these children of the proper channels can be used to show archaic American sitcoms is hard to say. Sure there’s a novelty value now, but at some stage even watching Get Smart! for the thirtieth time is going to start to rankle. Nine’s channel Go! should be renamed Gone! given the original broadcast date of a significant proportion of its programs. Although the quaint twin nostalgia of its little glimpses into the past – both the era the programs were made and the era we first watched them, when many were already dated – are cute to begin with, we really are going to want more new stuff at some stage. Seven’s 7Two channel’s name probably refers to the average original broadcast date of its own lineup. Ten has sport on HD, but if you don’t have HD yet, like the office of a certain online newspaper which you are currently reading, you miss the Superbowl this year, damn you, technology! So let’s get real, and start seeing some more interesting – and locally produced – televisual fodder being issued as a result of the widening of the spectrum. Let’s move forward into an Australian future, not back into an American past, as replete as it is with caring Moms, wisecracking besties and Detroit-era cars manufactured before a concern arose that they could ultimately kill us all. It’s not a lot to ask to see more contemporary Australian programming, is it? After all, the cheque for $250 million is already in the mail.
Keywords: pepper, and, assault
ITEM Meanwhile, in other parts of the world, things seem to be going on as normal. Somewhere in Iran a scientist (or similar) is adjusting the flow of plutonium coming out of the big pipette, in Israel various folk with computers hooked up to aerials are about to pepper the skies of the Gulf States with pilotless planes each almost the size of a 737, in England the PM is defending the integrity of his record (we all had a few laughs here in the Harold office at that one), in the Southern Oceans another leviathan of the deep is attempting to avoid adding to the sum knowledge of Japanese science and / or sushi recipe book, in Afghanistan someone has been shot in the name of peace, in Iraq someone has been blown up in the name of peace, somewhere in Africa someone has no doubt been hacked to death with a machete in the name of peace and in an Oval Office not too far from the Washington Monument a lonely president is hopefully planning another assault on one of America's most treacherous foes: Congress.
Monday 22 February 2010
Keywords: all, stations, to, futility
ITEM NSW today became the owner of a brand new baby transport plan, although possibly it was a blueprint, scheme, design or pie-in-the-sky dreamlike fantasy. Whatever, it can now be put safely on the shelf and ignored along with any other documents which have the words ‘integrated’ and ‘transport’ on the front cover. While rail commuters will apparently have to wait between a few years and an eon for the next lot of track to be laid, no doubt the car travellers can expect an immediate start on several bulldozer-ready motorway extensions, widenings and tunnels because this appears to be the typical pattern. As pointed out in Harold way back in our very first edition on 04 December, discarding the old transport plan just means NSW commuters will have to wait even longer before the current plan is similarly offered to the Gods of the Chuck Out pile. Whether this will happen in tandem with the current government’s own arrival on the front strip, or seconds afterwards, remains to be seen.
Keywords: there’s, pun, born, every, minute
ITEM In a ‘oh, come on, did you really have to say that moment?’, various state government departments tasked with investigating the appropriateness of the proposed Tillegra Dam north of Newcastle have apparently released ‘damning reports’ into the damage it will cause the estuary and headwaters of the Hunter River. How we laughed. Although the Federal Government has spent nearly 1.5 million bucks protecting the area, the State Government is apparently about to spend $477 million sending in the big bulldozer. The man who has been signing the Federal Government's cheques, Mr P Garrett who still seems to be from an Environment Ministry near you, although for just how long remains to be seen, also has the capacity to put the stamp saying ‘No’ on the application forms for the dam. While it is unlikely Mr Garrett will actually move to block the dam, as he rarely seems to do anything, he is going to look a bit of a twit if he gives it his distinctive nod after spending all that Commonwealth money on planting and weeding in the area.
Keywords: the, old, soft, shoe
ITEM It seems that the Federal government, keen for the Senate to knock back its bill to means test the private health care rebate, had a bit of a nasty shock when it looked for a little while that the Greens would vote for it. The Government then had to spend some time ignoring their Outlook reminders for the meetings with Mr Xenephon and Mr Fielding, giving the non-aligned lads no alternative but to vote with the Coalition. Defeat of the bill will give the Government their coveted Double Dissolution trigger which they will no doubt keep like a ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card to play later in the year about the time when they will have to call an election anyway. At that point it’ll be whipped out in some kind of Rudd-like flourish, be waved about a bit and cause the whole Senate to be sent off to the hustings. The ALP hopes that when the dust settles after polling day they will at last have the numbers they need in the Upper House to finally get some stuff done. By the time this happens the government might also have finally got itself together communication-wise, unlike its current strategy of just letting Mr Abbott do all the talking. It is indeed curious that the government isn’t using the traditional PM/Treasurer good cop/ bad cop routine to get its messages across. It has worked so well in previous governmental incarnations, (although on at least one occasion it was bad cop/ really bloody evil cop, but we’ll let you attach your own faces to the labels in that particular case.) Instead of the Hawke/ Keating or Howard/ Costello tag teams of the past we now have Rudd/ whatshisname, which thus far has can hardly be considered a winning combo. The benefit of the old zone defence is that you have the PM on the nice stuff – infrastructure announcements, cheques being posted out, welcome to the president, that sort of thing, while the Treasurer can go in hard: bagging out the Opposition with superior witty putdowns and cancelling various stuff with economic preciseness, although there is the matter of the inevitable shrill whinges about the PM about five years into the gig. On the whole, however, this technique means that messages are kept clear and distinct - instead of the play-by-play mealy-mouthed gibberish which currently masquerades as the content of the press releases flitting down from the PM’s office on a considered number of subjects featuring wide-ranging aspects of varieties of core and non-core programmatic specificity.
Keywords: what, a, downer
ITEM The secret Alexander Downer plan to re-unite Cypress could actually work. Mr Downer, as you may remember, has been appointed special UN envoy to the last divided country in Europe, which he does part-time when he’s not in his consultancy office. Downer’s cunning trick seems to be to get all Cypriots so fed up they unite to get rid of him. And who knows, if he uses his special combination of condescension, tactlessness and artless bonhomie, it may actually work.
Keywords: Washington, 1, Chicago, 0
ITEM Meanwhile in the Oval Office, Mr Obama has decided to man up against the Chinese, and a $6.4 billion arms deal to Taiwan is about to go ahead. This comes on top of last week’s meeting with the Dalai Lama, who may or may not have had a thing or two to say to the President on the subject of non-violence. Quite how Mr O is dealing with the realpolitik of life in the White House is hard to say, but he must sometimes feel a long way from his old office back in Chicago where he helped the community with housing, social reform etc and didn’t have to kill quite so many people on a daily basis.
Saturday 20 February 2010
keywords: show, business, like, snow, business
ITEM It appears that the people running Channel 9 have become aware that there are rumblings in the viewing ranks over the alleged ‘coverage’ of the Vancouver Winter Olympics. Complaints from those who are watching include interviews with various competitors which last far longer than coverage of their events, running the same tape more than once and cutting from an Australian in a live medal ceremony to a supermarket ad. Network executives appear to be confused that some of their audience would prefer to watch the Games rather than ads for the Games. While not disputing the quality of Nine's promotions in general, it is possibly a bit much to expect us to be satisfied with a tosser spruiking product no matter the whiteness of their smile, the enthusiasm for their endorsement or the penetrative ability of their annoying jingle when stuff is actually happening on the ice. Other complaints about 9's Vancouver10 coverage include a lack of commentary team expertise and a lack of many actual events despite the digital capacity of the network to in fact overload us with Vancouver's thrills 'n' spills. These twin lacks have, possibly unsurprisingly – to everyone except Nine management – contributed to a third lack, viewers themselves. It seems that as many as a third less people than the 750,000 who tuned in for the last Limpic Snow and Ice Fest are bothering with events in Canada. Despite the deserting viewers and the massed complaining, the Limpic coverage is apparently deemed by Nine to be ‘first class’. Quite what ‘second class’ would look like is hard to fathom, although odds are it would still include Eddie McGuire. The station’s decision to air the Limpics as ‘sportatainment’ including attempts to be 'humorous' by the aforementioned Mr McGuire, as well other kinds of inane homophobic cliché-ridden talking-head behaviour is apparently because this is ‘what the Australian television audience wants’. A ringing endorsement not only of Nine, but of the network's views of the nation as a whole. You might also want to remember that 9 has the rights to air the next proper Limpics from London - you better start your petitions now if we're to avoid a similar debacle regarding hosts and coverage in 2012.
keywords: now, for, the, good, news
ITEM Word from the Gulf and its immediate environs suggest that the rulers of a lot of sandy places feel they’re a few nuclear warheads short of a full arsenal. Various sheiks, caliphs, emirs, potentates and associated wazirs have come to this decision after continuing signals from Iran suggesting the bomb would be a cool addition to the Republican Guards armoury, and if anyone has some fissile plutonium then they have a wallet full of money and a semi-trailer, meet you on the dark street of your choice midnight on Tuesday. About the only positive aspect of the Gulf States all having nuclear arms is that – well, there really isn’t anything positive about it, is there?
keywords: finger, lickin', good
ITEM The first episode of Masterchef Congo has aired, and apparently it featured a hearty guinea pig soup, which was followed by fricassee of pig from guinea, with a salad of guinea pork garnished by cavy juice with guinea crème a la pig for desert. Yes, the little rodents are really coming up trumps nutrition-wise for the citizens of the impoverished nation. While not expecting to see a chain of KFGP opening any time soon, on the other side of the world the Peruvians have actually been chowing down on guinea pig tucker for yonks. Part of the reason for the sudden influx of guinea pig recipe books in Congo is the usefulness of the animal in terms of it being an available source of protein, with presumably something of a piquant after-taste, if not a slightly gamey texture. It seems the cavies can eat just about anything, are easily hidden from people attempting to steal your food and they reproduce quickly and prolifically. In fact, just about the only downside to the whole meal-preparing equation seems to be quite what you tell the youngsters when they glimpse their furry fluffy friends up on the chopping board next to the big knife. For those of you still reading, here’s a recipe for Fried Guinea Pig. Harold will be happy to hear from anyone with a taste report.
Fried Guinea Pig (Ayacucho-style)
1 guinea pig, de-haired, gutted, and cleaned
1/2 c. flour
1/4 - 1/2 t. ground cumin
salt and black pepper to taste
1/2 c. oil
Pat dry the skin of the guinea pig and rub in the cumin, salt, and pepper. Preheat oil. Dust the carcass with the flour and place it on its back in the oil, turning to cook both sides. Alternately, the guinea pig can be cut and fried in quarters.
Serve with boiled potato or boiled manioc root, and a salad of cut tomatoes and slivered onions bathed in lime juice and a bit of salt.
keywords: up, up, and, away
ITEM 2.3 billion people took to the skies last year, and the good news is that all but 685 descended at an appropriate rate with their trays raised and seat belts fastened. This translates to about one airline fatality for every 1.4 million passengers who head down the runway. Admittedly while not as safe as buses, planes are a good deal more likely to get you to your destination in one piece than your motorbike, although admittedly if you're only heading down to the shops they can be a little inconvenient to park.
keywords: Mr, Lama, goes, to, Washington
ITEM Meanwhile in the White House, Mr O met Dalai L and the general vibe was pretty cool. Somewhere where the vibe isn’t cool right now though is China, where they are just not into the whole mellow buzz about the Lama’s visit to Washington, and in fact their hostility is threatening to bring us all right down, man. The White House picture of the meeting reveals that the Lama seems to prefer his tea in (ironically, perhaps) fine China, as well as what looks to be his prediliction for a wheaten digestive (Who remembers wheaten digestives?)
The Prez seems to have eschewed elevenses entirely, although if his clenched fist pictured above is anything to go by, he does actually appear to be engrossed in the conversation he's having, which does differ marginally from the glazed looks on some other world leader’s faces we’ve seen hanging out with the Lama in recent times.
Friday 19 February 2010
keywords: twice, the, fun
ITEM Will they? Won’t they? Will they? Won’t they? These are the questions being asked in and around the halls of Parliament House in Canberra as the potential for a Double Dissolution election appears to be growing. With the electorate now bored to tears for the most part with the inane drivel that was supposed to be the climate change ‘debate,’ it appears the government now thinks health might be a starter instead, and is planning to introduce a bill to means test the 30% private health insurance rebate. Of course just holding up any sort of paperwork with the words ‘means test’ on it causes those on the benches of the Queen’s Own Federal Opposition to start salivating and twitching, with howling and shrieks of outrage only seconds away. How dare the rights of poor innocent Australian millionaires be attacked in this way?!! If, as expected, the Opposition votes no to the proposal, the government will then have the opportunity to call for a Double Dissolution (or Double Disillusionment as it's usually referred to in the suburbs) election, where every seat is up for grabs, including those who thought they might be there for a bit longer than this, and yes, I mean you Senator Fielding.
keywords: you, ain't, seen, nothing, yet
ITEM Meanwhile, down in the Parliamentary basement, around about sub-level 16D, a chained monster is stirring. We know it is stirring because it is the nature of this beast to stir, not to mention tease, ridicule and the occasional spot of lambasting. (Who remembers lambasting?) Barnaby Joyce has been shackled too long now, and will have to vent and release soon if he’s going to avoid blowing a ‘roid. Good Lord, the man’s very credibility is threatened if he doesn’t exhibit some maverick-like behaviour at least daily, but it’s been more than a week now. How long can he last? How much time is too much time? When will the next inevitable outburst and/or lapse into a need to be outraged take place? How long before this creature of the night has to transform into its natural state and taste the blood of ridicule and the flesh of agricultural defence once more?
keywords: stop, go, stop, go, whoops
ITEM Car maker Corolla has stated that the steering system fitted to its Australian cars are unlikely to lead to loss of control if the vehicle exceeds 65 kph, as has been the case in some vehicles overseas. Forgetting for the moment that they should just ship these cars to Sydney because the chances of them getting over 50 are pretty slim, has anyone else noticed the rash of vehicular glitches lately? Wonky brakes, sticky accelerators and now fuzzy steering. Yet these attacks on our personal safety come way before exhaust emissions cause the ice to melt, sea to turn acidic and temperatures to rise. Could it be... is it true after all... are they really out to get us? The cars that ate Earth...
keywords: sorry, sorry, sorry
ITEM Vale Ruby Hunter.
keywords: after, you, no, after, you
ITEM US Prez Mr O is to meet with the Dalai Lama on his current visit to the States although the Chinese are making all kinds of predictable noises of the complaining kind. In fact the meeting with the Lama seems to be something of a tradition for US Presidents, at least for the last couple of decades, although it has to be said that it doesn’t appear to have done any of them a great deal of good. Mr O’s meeting is apparently being managed to within a protocolled millimetre of its life, with tight proscriptions over which office they will meet in, the exact number of handshake pumps and width of post-meeting smiles for the photos. One can only wonder if their conversation will be so tightly scripted. No doubt the concept of social reform will be one of the speaking points... whether it later becomes an action item, however, remains to be seen.
Thursday 18 February 2010
keywords: oh, the, humanity
ITEM News from Indonesia seems to imply that the impending executions of Australian drug runners Myuran Sukumaran, Andrew Chan and Scott Rush will be bad for Kevin Rudd in an election year. Quite what affect they’ll have on Myuran Sukumaran, Andrew Chan and Scott Rush is unreported, although it is unlikely to be good for them either, or for humanity in general, for that matter.
keywords: the, Gods, must, be, guilty
ITEM Word has come from Africa that the DNA of Archbishop Desmond Tutu and four Kua people – aka ‘Bushmen’ – has been put into the big analyser for a close looksee. The Kua have apparently lived reasonably isolated from other humans for 100,000 years, which it is assumed was a period they enjoyed somewhat, before the Coke bottles started falling from the skies and they were forced to move in the direction of away from their lands. Meanwhile in NSW it seems that there are calls to keep the police apart from some of the DNA they collect, although presumably the genetic makeup of the Kua and the good archbish are not currently part of the archive of NSW’s finest. The Office of the Privacy Commissioner has asked the cops to keep the DNA of victims in a different cupboard to the DNA of criminals, as it might be a bit unfair if a victim later committed a crime and was caught as a result of their DNA being on file, although presumably if this was the case there would also be a new victim and the police could add to the collection. It’s a circumstance fraught with intriguing ethical dilemmas tinged with subtlety and nuance, so expect a rushed ‘one size fits all’ blanket resolution to be rigidly applied to the situation any day now.
keywords: it's, a, long, way, to, the, shop, if, you, want, a, sausage, roll
ITEM The former bass player of AC/DC, Mark Evans, apparently holds no ill will to the former members of the group despite them finding rock megastardom after he left the band. Presumably Mr Evans feels no bitterness because he still has his hearing, and judging from the tightness of the jeans favoured by the band in its early years, his testicles. After AC/DC headed to the states the Pete Best of the Australian music scene went on to play in a blues duo, the rest of the band went on to be inducted into the US Rock and Roll Hall of Fame except for Bon Scott who, sadly, went on to have one bourbon more than was good for him.
keywords: whoa, that, was, close
ITEM Mr Abbott had a moment with a semi-trailer yesterday that will be familiar to many highway motorists when he glanced in his rear view to see it rather full of truck logo. Of course most of us have the sedan loaded up with the family on the way to Lake Conjola when we get this glimpse of chrome and diesel-induced eternity and are not sitting in the official limo, but still, it’s never a good feeling. I don’t suppose you’re going to adjust your transport policy, though, are you, Tony? How about promising a railway line that could take all those tonnes of freight off the road?
keywords: all, bound, for, morningtown
ITEM Speaking of trains, you can now travel the entire length of the trans-Siberian express for free courtesy of Google and the folk from Russian Railways – in cyberspace, of course, silly. Your virtual tour starts here in Moscow and ends, 9203 kilometres later in Vladivostok. Sounds a hoot, doesn’t it, but probably best kept in reserve for a rainy weekend or non-ratings period as it takes a while to make the entire trip.
keywords: the, trouble, with, hope
ITEM Rather than just the one Democratic senate seat up for grabs as reported in Harold yesterday, Mr O is actually facing the possibility of no fewer than 33 seats changing hands at the half-term elections in November. The Dems are now rated as having only a 50/50 chance of maintaining their majority, which will be something of a blow to the Prez and his hopes for reform. While one understands the need for an Upper House to provide the ‘checks and balances’ necessary for a healthy democracy, it must be frustrating for Mr O – and indeed Mr Rudd in Australia – that commanding majorities in their respective lower houses haven’t translated to the capacity to actually produce legislative change. Both men were elected on a mandate of reform – Mr O arguably more so, admittedly – yet both have consistently faced an Upper House arguing its own mandate to block anything proposed by the Lower House majority. Now the President and the Prime Minister face criticism from the electorate (and, ironically, their opposition parties) that they are ineffective and don't get anything done. While robust arguing for total bi-cameral control could soon be heard in an election campaign near you, just how Joe and Josephine Public will react to what could be perceived as an increased grab for power remains to be seen. While governmental inaction is looked upon unfavourably, it should be remembered that action can only come when those at the ballot box are prepared to fully trust the promises being made. ‘Hope’ may be an aspirational target with popular appeal, but perhaps ‘Trust’ should be the next value put on the block when it comes time for the next attempt to auction our future to the most photogenic candidate.
Wednesday 17 February 2010
keywords: not, them, it's, us
ITEM News from the Queen’s Own Federal Opposition is that bulk containers of polish and industrial quantities of spit are being ordered in time for the upcoming election as various old promises, policies and programs are dragged out of various cupboards and sundry closets to be dusted off and given a shine. Plans to sell Medicare, revive Work Choices and re-incorporate just about anything that was removed, re-assembled or renamed by the pesky ALP government appear to be the bedrock of Coalition offerings to the electorate in its attempts to regain power. Rather than coming up with new things they’ve stuck to the old because obviously the voters of Australia got it all wrong. One has to admire their resolve, particularly after the resounding drubbing handed to them in the last election. So now all they have to do is make us see the light and vote them back in so they can pick up where they left off with their former smarming, weasling and sniding. (Who remembers smarming?)
keywords: I'll, go, tally, the, votes
ITEM Meanwhile across the hall recent outbreaks of ALP-brand smarming, weasling and sniding are being kept quiet as part of the well-conducted current strategy that Mr Rudd et al are using in their attempt to win the game that is Australian Political Survivor. When it comes time for tribal council, they’re hoping that we’re going to forget they’re there, and instead vote out the Opposition because we’ve heard so much from them and they’re rubbish. Of course, Labor is also rubbish, but we don’t notice them as much and they did send us those cheques a while back and now unemployment isn’t as bad as it was supposed to get. When Mr Abbott hands across his torchand hears Kerry O’Brien say, ‘Tony Abbott, the tribe has spoken,’ we should all remember, however, that it’s the under-the-radar players who are the most lacklustre in what they bring to the game, and that despite their success in obtaining the one million, they are also invariably the least entertaining.
keywords: do, you, like, your, rattle?
ITEM It seems that Australia isn’t quite mature enough yet for a Bill of Rights, despite the efforts of Federal Attorney General Robert McClelland, who is a supporter of the initiative. With echoes of the kind of arguments used to derail attempts to make Australia a republic (such as ‘it’s too hard’ and ‘well, you can have one, but it won’t be the kind you want,’ and ‘if it ain’t broke, why fix it?’) it appears the government is worried that the judiciary will end up holding too much power if an Australian Bill of Rights is invented. While complaints of judicial power don't appear to be heard overly frequently in countries which do have Bill of Rights (I think they actually call it 'democracy'), Australian opponents of such a Bill also fail to note the whinging about ‘judicial activism’ heard across the land during the days of the Howard government when the High Court ruled this way and that way on various cases after referring to a quaint old document known as the ‘constitution’. The opponents to the Bill claim that if a law is made by parliament, but then later is found to be in breach of Bill of Rights obligations, then it would be really hard to get stuff done. Quite how such a check on government is a step backward for human rights however, not to mention democratic obligation or indeed Australia as a nation is hard to say, however nothing quite demonstrates ‘power’ so much as a final say in the matter, and possibly this is what gets up our elected representatives' collective noses. It’s a shame, really, as a Bill of Rights could actually give other nations a clue that Australia is finally prepared to start growing up.
keywords: one, built, every, minute
ITEM NSW is currently spending around 75 grand a year per prisoner keeping the state’s jails filled. Given the increasing rates of incarceration, it seems that we’ll need at least another medium-sized prison built every year, or a big one built every two years, or some quite small ones built every few months, or some really really small ones built every day if we’re going to keep locking people up at a rate we’re happy with. Some people have suggested maybe it would be better to spend a bit of the money now used to build jails on programs that would stop people entering the penal system in the first place, or ones that would prevent them returning to prison, and eventually turn everyone into happy, productive taxpayers. Apparently ‘justice reinvestment’ is the technical term for increasing the national tax base by reducing both initial contact and recidivism, and people are saying it would also lower the state’s annual lockup bill of a billion dollars. In Victoria, a higher rate of ex-prisoners being offered housing and employment appears to have resulted in a lower rate of ex-prisoners heading back to the big house. Sounds like a plan...
keywords: sorry, this, is, my, stop
ITEM In America the Prez has taken his second hit in recent months with the news that the US mid-term elections will see another Democrat-held Senate seat up for grabs with the impending resignation of two-term Evan Bayh. After the incident in Massachusetts not so long ago, the last thing Mr O needs to see is the Democrat majority in the Senate erode even further – not to mention the damage to his credibility should the Republicans triumph again. Allegedly Mr Bayh has said that there is ‘too much partisanship and not enough progress’ on the Hill. Quite how his resignation is going to aid his hopes for progress remain to be seen. Was social justice reform supposed to be this hard?
Tuesday 16 February 2010
keywords: hit, or, myth
ITEM And lo it came to pass that the sacred goddess the Mrs Abbott cradled her son in her nook, or possibly it was her oriel, and carried him down to the headwaters which back in yon ancient times of yore used to have water in them, and on yonder bank of the Styx, or as it is now known, Lake Burley Griffin, the Mrs Abbott thereupon dipped her wee babe into the water, holding him by his heel so that she would not drop him like a proverbial. After he was moistened afresh she hoicked him out and sent him to the mystical Jesuits knowing now that they could do their worst and that he would remain relatively intact, although she actually hoped it wouldn’t be their worst, as she'd seen what had happened to that kid down the road and understood that the Jesuits worst can be pretty bad. Anyway, Tony got through it and now, forty-something years later, he is totally invulnerable. His vulnerability was revealed on the weekend after he strode back in from a press release when a flunkie ran up to him, shaking his/her head with reproach and opprobrium, although it could have been the other way around. Mr Abbott thence deigned to speaketh to him/her: ‘Don’t mention the Work Choices!’ he hissed, ‘I think I mentioned the Work Choices once but I got away with it.’ However no sooner had Mr Abbott spoken than various Harpies from the ALP front bench were surrounding him and screeching their unending mantra: ‘Work Choices is back! All fear and tremble before the spectre of insatiably greedy bosses leering above lowly paid, helpless McJob workers struggling through another Public Holiday Sunday shift for no money at all!’ Mr Abbott glanced down that bit of his foot on the bottom between his sole and his ankle, clenched his fist and raised it towards Olympus, and screamed for Barnaby, his loyal sidekick, to come and say something truly ridiculous to once more take the attention away from him.
keywords: drop, a, load
ITEM In case you were wondering, the average carbon emission of your new 4-wheel drive is approximately a kilo for every 5 k’s you drive. Which is quite a lot when you think about it. You only need to head down the highway about 15 k’s before you’ve dropped a turd of carbon the weight of a housebrick. Good Lord. That’s putting it in perspective, isn’t it? No wonder the sea is now 30% more acidic than it used to be. The last time this happened was back in the day, which in this case was a Monday about 65 million years ago when there was quite a lot of extinction at the bottom of the food chain. Just how this impacted on the top of the food chain is hard to say exactly, although the words ‘hungry’ and ‘really hungry’ come to mind.
keywords: four bedrooms, one creek, and a factor
ITEM As reported yesterday, Ms P Hanson of an immigration scare campaign near you is apparently leaving the shores of her homeland and doing a bit of immigration of her own. It seems Ms Hanson is heading to the UK via a two month holiday in New Zealand, so one can only wonder how they’re going to cope with the sound of her voice after that. If you happen to be after a 4-bedroom Y-shaped slice of paradise, you can check out information on 969 Coleyville Rd here. It has a creek just 8 metres underground, cattle crushing facilities, a unique sense of Australian history and a high creepiness factor within its envrions if you get into wondering whether the spot you're standing on could once have been frequented by the Ms H getting all jiggy with it with a Mr Oldfield.
keywords: war, bang, sad
ITEM News from the war in Afghanistan continues to be a bit crappy what with the accidental killing of a bunch of civilian folk the other day when a rocket went a few hundred metres in the direction of ‘astray’, despite the promises from the manufacturer of its capacity for ‘accuratized targetization’. (Although it could be that the control switch had accidentally been set to 'collateral max' rather than 'collateral zero'). Presumably Mr O’s worry lines grew a few nanometres deeper when he heard the news that the struggle to claim Afghanistan hearts and minds had just grown that little bit more difficult. Social reform in the US is one thing, in Afghanistan it is something else again. (Insert a Presidential sighing motif here.)
Monday 15 February 2010
keywords: Pauline, might, leave
ITEM From the ‘Are you havin’ a laff?’ department comes word that one Ms P Hanson, formerly of Ipswich and a Federal Parliament near you, is leaving the country. And not just for a two weeks Kon Tiki around the islands on the kind of ship you could easily track by means of the trail of discarded beer bottles, empty duty free cigarette cartons and pre-loved vials of GBH in its wake. Apparently our Pauline – or, as she’ll soon be know, ‘their Pauline’ – is heading to dear old Blighty because Australia, although it hasn’t quite been ‘swamped by Asians’ yet, is no longer a ‘land of opportunity’. Ms Hanson appears to have reached her decision despite the planned rollout of a UK citizenship test which will allegedly include ‘art of queuing’ questions, something she may want to consider once she’s moved and is tempted to push in at the fish and chip shop for some traditional haddock, local rubbity dub for a spot of traditional binge drinking or the Houses of Parliament for traditional reasons we can only guess at. It does seem a little unusual that Ms Hanson has decided that the old dart is her fountain of hope, particularly given that Britain’s financial situation seems somewhat grey and damp in contrast to Australia’s current fiscal blue skies and that a recent report on residents of the UK suggested ‘millions’ are feeling unhappy, isolated and unable to cope leading to the development of a ‘psychologically fragile society’ with growing mental illness problems (see our edition for 08 December for more on this disturbing phenomena.) Just how the already twitchy Brits are going to cope with being swamped by the new redhead in the village remains to be seen.
keywords: Eddie, won't, leave
ITEM It’s official: Eddie McGuire has murdered any potential of 2010 Winter Olympic enjoyment. Five minutes in and his commentary caused my brand new ‘Vapid bonhomie’ meter to scream so loudly I was reminded of the day I took my Geiger counter to the sun. Quite how watching elite champions battling it out together at the peak of four years of hard core, dedicated training can be made so dull is hard to fathom, although it has to be admitted, almost admirable. The choice to use Eddie as a host is of course the masterstroke, but is far from being the only component of their strategy. The coverage of the Vancouver snow and ice spectacular appears to have become some kind of ghastly ‘sportatainment’ where any hope of actually following a particular discipline’s competition arc is thwarted by too frequent onrushes of highlights packages, increasingly inane commentary, a determination to continually cut to a different sport on the OCD level of behavioural logic, not to mention unending strings of the inevitable montages. Quite how we have reached a point where the current Limpics has been transformed into Spought Lite ™ and not the usual saturation coverage of anything that moves, which is equally easy to complain about, is hard to say, especially given that the mantra for most television channels these days is predicated on sport, with some more sport for the quiet bits, and if that doesn’t work, try some sport. No matter how determined the competition, how exciting the competition and how difficult the competition, it seems that the viewers are the losers on the day.
keywords: iceburgs, might, cleave
ITEM Word from someone in the north with a ruler is that Greenland is starting to melt. Well, more accurately, all the ice on Greenland is starting to melt. Which is quite a lot of ice. Those worried about what would happen if sea levels rise by a few centimetres will have further cause for concern if indeed all the ice in Greenland does thaw and join up with that great mass of water known as ‘the sea’, as in all likelihood the high water mark will be about seven metres higher than it currently sits. Quite what is causing the increased melting, whether warmer water or warmer air, is hard to say, as is exactly how long it’s going to take, but it really is a bit of a worry, isn’t it? Of course the many sceptics out there are scoffing even now, and presumably claiming that the figures are doctored and it won’t really happen. Of course it won’t really happen... or will it? (Insert dramatic chord of your choice here.)
keywords: does, O, still, believe?
ITEM In Washington Mr O has no doubt put the news from Greenland on top of the In Tray and wondered if he’ll ever actually have a chance to get the reform of a social nature underway.
Saturday 13 February 2010
keywords: show, me, the, money
ITEM Mr T Abbott, leader of the Queen’s Federal Opposition and known fan of clingy fabrics, is currently being criticised for a little thing known in the trade as ‘accountability.’ Apparently it seems that his various plans, schemes, armies, deductions and offerings aplenty are going to cost a pretty penny. (Who remembers a pretty penny?) Now the accountants have emerged from their closets grasping their quills and parchments, apparently they're all squawking that Tony's bottom line is a number significantly higher than the Federal government’s own current bill – to the tune of $20 billion more over a four year term. It has to be admitted that this is possibly not quite the fiscal responsibility Mr Abbott is a) promising us and b) accusing the government of not having. While no-one seriously expects Tony to keep all his promises if he's elected – what politician does? – it does suggest he’s a few decimal points short of a full integer when it comes to working out exactly how he's going to pay for it all. Tony, as fond as he is of large scale gestures, is in many ways an ideas person. The details come later, and in the tradition of Australian opposition parties the world over, usually only in the last couple of minutes before the polls open. Until that time we’ll have to wait to see whether Abbott-ralia will really look like a conservative version of John Howard’s view of the 1950s – or whether it’ll be something much, much worse.
keywords: rude, Rudd, r&d
ITEM Despite the continuing hysteria and rude baying for the scalp of Mr Garrett (which would hardly be the most decorative item in your collection, you’d have to admit), the government is otherwise pottering along, but apart from having the odd crack at the Senate, not really doing a whole lot in terms of the actual global warming situation. Despite all Mr Rudd’s jet setting, long-winded speeches and obscure plans for this and that, it seems that it remains business as usual for most of the nation’s carbon pumping industries these days. Sure many of us are feeling a little more insulated – if not a gentle tingling as well if we raise our hands – but in reality, now the economy appears picking up, what exactly is being done to slow down our emissions? Objections by many who oppose action on climate change seem mainly predicated on the argument that no other nations are doing it, which ironically is that same argument that most of those countries are making as well, which is hardly mature or sensible when you think about it. Sometimes it is better to be a leader than a follower, and as has been pointed on in Harold previously, and by countless more informed commentators, getting in early means Research and Development opportunities leading to a whole heap of economic benefits down the track. The current electorate-wide ennui on the topic notwithstanding, at some stage it would probably be good if somebody did something – and preferably before the waves start lapping into the front parlours of beachside residential properties, because won’t we be hearing some whining then...
keywords: bang, bang, whoops
ITEM In what must by now be something of a rite of passage for all US Presidents, it seems that three days into his presidency Mr O was led downstairs to the War Room and asked to give the order to kill a bunch of people on the other side of the planet. One can imagine, particularly with the benefit of West Wing re-runs, the drooling sense of anticipation from the assembled generals and sundry military clingers waiting to see if the new bloke would man up enough to move from being a committed advocate for social change to a fellow with blood on his hands, gooba gabba, gooba gabba, one of us, one of us. And one of them it seems the Prez was, as firstly he authorised the dispatch via a missile fired from a CIA remotely-controlled unmanned Predator aircraft of a small group of Arab lads planning something evil, and then subsequently around 16 members of the extended family (think aunts, grandparents, some nieces and nephews perhaps) of an America-supporting tribal leader when a further mission later that afternoon ‘went a little bit wrong.’ (Quite what the elder feels about the US now is unknown, although a few guesses can be made.) The upshot of Mr O's baptism by fire and blood is that apparently since then the assassination by Predator program has been going along gangbusters. It was Mr Bush fils who had the CIA's license to kill taken down to the motor registry office to be stamped afresh after he decided after 9/11 it needed its 007 status operational again. Some folk (presumably petulant whingers) have pointed out since then that the CIA is actually outside of the military chain of command, so that ‘...lethal force... is not subject to military rules and discipline...’ nor indeed is the agency ‘...subject to any other public system of accountability or oversight.’ While the exact number of those killed so incongruously 'by drone' is hard to gauge, particularly with all the vaporisation that occurs when you stand too close to the arrival of a Hellfire missile, estimates range between 500 and 700. While this number includes a handful of al-Qaeda leaders as well as various sympathisers and Taliban random other ranks, there is also the inevitable ‘collateral’ damage such as the aforementioned family picnic. War in any terms is obviously a bloody business, but the new remotely controlled death from the sky policy carries reminiscences of computer games and the claims for ‘clean strike’ capacity we remember hearing from other recent bombing campaigns such as Iraq version 1.0 and 2.0, the West Bank and the former Yugoslavia. The sanitary option, however, is never a certainty when the hard rain starts falling, no matter how glossy the brochures from the makers of laser-guidance systems and satellite control devices. No doubt these facts are at the forefront of Mr Obama’s mind each time he’s asked to come downstairs, watch a PowerPoint and give the nod. Possibly it’s a tough call for the kid from Hawaii who offered Hope and is now himself on the hard-knuckled edge of Reality, and wondering how best to make them mesh, whether by social reform or by more traditional methods of shock and awe.
Friday 12 February 2010
keywords: sharks, smell, blood
ITEM It’s not every day a new term enters the national lexicon, however the concept of ‘industrial manslaughter’ is now probably firmly embedded within the consciousness of anyone within proximity of a breakfast television program. It has emerged because four contractors have died while installing roofing insulation as a result of the government’s insulation rebate program. Although no-one seems to be saying what the ‘normal’ rate of death is for people crawling around in roof cavities, Mr P Garrett has been outed as the person allegedly responsible. Harold, as noted on too many previous occasions to cross reference, is no fan of the alleged Minister for the Environment, however feels that the current tactics of various members of the Queen’s Own Federal Opposition with their decibel range in the high soprano are so shrill as to be demonstratively hysterical. ‘I saw Goody Garrett dancing with the devil and some foil insulation’, they are screaming, and nothing leads to fervour exhibited en masse quite as much as the smell of blood. This lot now have the kind of fixation previously only seen in the gang from the Jaws movies after hanging out near the doors to the haemorrhage ward. The sharks of the Opposition front bench are now demanding action so stridently that their calls have thoroughly displaced reports of their own shortcomings from the front pages and headline slots of all the national news dispensing services. Theirs is a deceptively simple message with an overtly simple cause and effect logic to it, but let’s be honest, if every minister was held accountable for every death in their portfolio there would be an awful lot of dusting to do on the empty seats of most ministers. (Anyone for Minister for the Army? No? Minister for Health? Roads? Aviation? Rural thingys?) Quite how the government will handle all the thrashing in the water remains to be seen, as it has demonstrated in the past that it has a significant weakness when it comes to defending itself; just look at its failure to play shots throughout the whole climate change debate. Time to get off the back foot, I think, Mr Rudd. And if you do decide to respond to Mr Abbott et al in short, succinct grabs of a forceful nature you might also want to have a go at all those people determined to be witty at Mr Garrett’s expense by use of various cunningly altered Midnight Oil song lyrics. It’s just not funny when everyone is doing it.
keywords: Tony, does, Barnaby
ITEM A possible target for Mr Rudd should he succeed in tearing the pack away from Mr Garrett is Mr Abbott himself, who has apparently accused the government of not doing for Australia what the New Zealand government has done financially for the Land of the Long White Fractured Vowel. It seems, however, that Mr Abbott's argument is slightly spurious as economically New Zealand is in fact worse off financially than Australia, and not just because its land mass is only slightly larger than a postage stamp. Apparently the Kiwis didn’t stimulate their economy quite as effectively as we did and as a result they’ve had five successive quarters of recession and an unemployment rate of 7.3% which is in the ‘quite high’ range – and this doesn’t count those who came to Australia to be unemployed here. Or indeed find jobs. In fact the ANZ Bank’s chief economist called New Zealand the ‘unlucky country.’ Even though they didn’t get into as much debt as Australia did by introducing stimulus measures, in the long run they will still be badly off because of the increase in unemployment, meaning more dole payments, less taxation revenue and lower rates of economic activity overall because less people are buying plasmas and that. At Harold we’re a bit surprised that Mr Abbott got this so wrong. Isn’t that Mr Joyce’s job?
keywords: tubby, tasty, titbits
ITEM From the US comes word on some research that shows that the lads and lasses carrying the most weight as they head to school of a morning are more likely to die before reaching 55, either of illness or due to reasons of a self-inflicted nature. As nearly one in three American youngsters is considered overweight or obese, this has some rather serious implications for them vis a vis their potential for living long fulfilling happy lives (presuming they don't join the army, of course). The news has repercussions for everyone, of course, as tubby kiddies are not restricted to the good ol’ US of A. Conceivably it is time for all of us to take more responsibility for the health of our children, and indeed our own well being. It seems that global sales of delicious snacky titbits are expected to rise by more than 10% in the next few years, although it’s true that I found this tasty morsel of salt and fat-filled information in an article on the internet which has the word ‘premiumization’ in the title, which is a scary enough concept by itself. But it has to be said that if you head down the aisles of any supermarket it is usually possible to discern a direct correlation between consumer size and consumer consumption. Those in the health food area are often correspondingly small almost in a direct ratio to the size of the section, while those in the ever expanding chip/ soft drink/ confectionary aisles appear to exhibit personal eating choices which apparently require both overloaded trolleys and a consequent disdain for clingy fabrics. While the pontificating is easy, the answers to this public health dilemma are exceedingly difficult, shrouded as they are in the hazy space between the need for legislation and freedom of choice. One person who will probably spend some time over the weekend worrying about it is US Prez Mr Obama, his current employment position predicated as it is on the need for social reform, some of which may very well include helping children to have healthier diets – and longer lives.
Thursday 11 February 2010
keywords: Garrett, really, incompetent
ITEM Did Peter Garrett really say that the household insulation rebate program was ‘the most significant delivery of effective greenhouse gas emissions we have ever seen’? Mr Garrett apparently made the comment after copping a bit of flak for allegedly being incompetent as Federal Minister for the Environment and Occasional Guest Appearances in Various Rock Concerts. At Harold we feel it is a bit unfair to criticise Mr Garrett for the things he’s done in his capacity as minister, because he hadn't really done that much, has he?
keywords: are, you, trucking, serious?
ITEM From the ‘Tell Us Something We Don’t Already Know’ Department comes word that folk running the Australian Wheat Board were apparently aware that cheques for large amounts marked ‘trucking fees’ were really instead heading straight to the coffers of one Mr S. Hussein Esq, late of a Presidential Palace in Bagdad. (Who remembers Mr Hussein?) The AWB is currently being sued by some of its former shareholders who seem to be claiming that management let them down, what with the payments and the subsequent Royal Commission into the company, among other things. Despite AWB officials claiming at various stages that they had no idea the ‘transport fees’ were really ‘payments to Saddam Hussein’s regime’, apparently they knew all the time that the ‘transport fees’ were really ‘payments to Saddam Hussein’s regime’. Although there were United Nations sanctions back then, the AWB apparently felt it was permissible to trade with Iraq because someone, possibly at the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade, or maybe it was the UN, had said it was OK, although it seems we lost the letter.
keywords: bored, bored, bored, hot
ITEM It’s not quite official, but it’s nearly official. Climate change is going off the boil. By this we don’t mean that global temperatures have started to cool and there is dancing in the streets, but that people are getting fed up with all the arguing and the topic is dropping out of the news cycle quicker than a fin whale into an experimental flensing device. While news that people are no longer interested in the health of their planet doesn’t exactly bode well for many of the species that currently inhabit the little sphere we like to call home, the climate change sceptics are no doubt feeling rather proud and are pouring themselves another brandy or two. However the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change should also take some responsibility for this development, particularly that bit where they let sloppily researched material amongst the real science, causing the value of the good stuff to be brought into disrepute. The incapacity for the Copenhagen Climate Change talks to bring about any significant resolve can hardly be blamed for the resulting global ennui on the subject, as the conference was never going to reach consensus, however anyone who loudly spruiked that it was should rightly be hanging their heads in shame about now for their own naivety. Here in Australia, the Federal government should take some of the blame for its failure to adequately explain quite why so many of the arguments put forward by the sceptics are complete hokum. Meanwhile, the carbon continues to be pumped in a skywards direction, the world continues to grow warmer and our children, and their children, get the honour of attempting to survive through our disgrace – and the indignity of cleaning up our shit.
keywords: Barnaby, Lindsay, Peter, Ivan
ITEM It’s becoming a little hard to judge which is funnier at the moment, the prognostications and policy utterings of Mr B Joyce, Opposition Finance Spokesperson and Major Liability in an Opposition front bench littered with contenders, or comments from just about anyone regarding Mr Joyce’s prognostications and policy utterings. After Mr Tanner referred to Mr Joyce as a ‘bearded lady’ the other day, the latest government minister to jump onto the bandwagon was Mr Graham Perrett, who claimed that Mr Joyce was doing to the Australian economy ‘what Ivan Milat did for backpacking holidays’. For some comments, however, especially in large well-lit rooms of official people, like, for example, Federal Parliament, it will always be too soon, Graham. Too soon. Regardless of the accuracy - or otherwise - of your statement...
keywords: uranium, bad, all, end, in, tears
ITEM From the US comes news that Mr Obama is threatening the Republic of Iran with sanctions unless those whacky folk in Tehran stop fiddling with their uranium. (Has someone given this news to the folk now running the AWB?) Organisations to be targeted by the proposed trade embargo include the Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps, who you might think does a lot with guns and soldiers and bombs and the like, but which apparently also owns a bunch of commercial operations like a few banks and the airport. While Mr O is also busy trying to do some social reform for everyone back in the US - OK, maybe not the millionaires quite so much - you might want to spare a thought for the folk in Iran, where oil is cheap and freedom is expensive, as some of them have already been hanged for their role in anti-government protests last December.
Wednesday 10 February 2010
keywords: business, watching, entrails
ITEM It appears to be business as usual in Parliament House, Canberra, at the moment with a typical array of mudslinging, name calling, muckraking and chivvying (who remembers chivvying?). Of course this was just the offices of the Queen’s Own Federal Opposition, where members are coming to terms with a) Malcolm Turnbull’s speech supporting the ETS b) Barnaby Joyce’s inability to handle his portfolio and c) Tony Abbott doing anything. At this point Barnaby’s transgressions are probably the worst of the three, as that nice Mr Turnbull is probably going to head back to Sydney soon and do a bit of harbour view watching, while Mr Abbott is digging in for the long haul no matter what damage he inflicts on his party, or indeed the nation, as he does his business. And who knows, if he keeps going with all the populism, hip pocket nerve encouragements and fear mongering, some people may very well vote for him. But Mr Joyce, whose latest public announcement featured the prognostication that Australia, with one of the lowest debt to GDP ratios in the Western world, may not be able to keep up its repayments on the national HP scheme, is right now copping a bit of flak from just about everyone who doesn’t own a tractor. Quite when and where Mr Joyce came to the conclusion that there wasn’t enough in the Reserve Bank to pay all the bills is not certain, but there’s a strong chance it involved some form of arcane rural divination process, possibly involving animal entrails. For the record, it appears that Australia’s peak forecast debt (to hit the interest bill the hardest in 2014-15) is expected to be around $150 billion or 9% of Gross Domestic Product. The UK, on the other hand is dealing with a debt of 85% and the US with one of 92%. The Australian financial position doesn’t seem quite so bad in comparison, although there are still a few whingers out there complaining that if John ‘That’s Not a Handout, This is a Handout’ Howard hadn’t made quite so many tax cuts and left more in the piggy bank then we wouldn’t even be looking at 9%. (By the way, probably best to say 'no' to Greece if it comes up to you in the next few days and asks to borrow some money, ‘pay you back Friday, honest’.) Meanwhile Mr Abbott is being long on promises and short of details, such as how to pay for the long promises, which of course is a tried and true political tactic and almost expected by Australian voters these days, which says not so much about their levels of trust for the folk in the Big House on the Hill in Canberra, but more about their complete cynicism and disdain.
keywords: did, you, know, your, arm, is, broken, by, the, way?
ITEM Some people are complaining that their civil liberties might be infringed because new full body X-ray scanners are going to be able to see most of their bodies as they head towards the aeroplane, and presumably also if they have dental cavities or any unhealed fractures. Quite how they feel about their civil liberties if they’re being strip searched instead, or are plummeting to their deaths from 20,000 feet after the guy in the row opposite wasn’t X-rayed when he got on with a full load of explosive underwear (and not the good kind of explosive underwear) they’re not saying...
keywords: the, hidden, cost
ITEM From the land of the free comes word that a US soldier has been putting the skills he presumably learned in his 15 months in Iraq to good use back at home. 27-year old Joshua Tabor had a few too many and decided to show his daughter a thing or two about waterboarding after she allegedly claimed she didn’t want to recite her ABCs. What this says about the mindset of US army troops while actually in Iraq, the mindset of other US army troops who have come back from Iraq and the mindset of the world in general these days is hard to say exactly, but it has to be admitted that the words, ‘tremendous sadness’ spring to mind.
keywords: my, knees, have, stopped, working
ITEM For any of you wondering how things are going in the world’s largest phallic symbol, otherwise known as the Naming Rights Dubai Tower, apparently ‘not so great’ is the official announcement. Yup, apparently as a group of 15 people were riding in the fastest elevators in the world, there was something that reminded them of a small explosion, and the noise and smoke were then followed by about 45 minutes of waiting to see whether they would plunge 124 floors at a very high speed to certain death in sub-basement 26C below. They were eventually rescued using a system called a ‘ladder’ although this was still understandably pretty frightening as they’d come to see the view of the desert and not a glimpse of lift shaft infinity. Anyway, the upshot is that the front doors of the tower were then locked, the 'Welcome' sign was turned off and the folk already on the observation deck presumably then had rather a long traipse down what appeared after about the first ten minutes to be a good long look at stairwell eternity.
keywords: Oval, Prez, America
ITEM Meanwhile in an Oval Office not so far from various monuments in Washington, the Prez is presumably hard at it, and why not, some rigorous social reform can’t hurt America right now. Can it?
Tuesday 09 February 2010
keywords: housewives, buying, ass
ITEM Mr Abbott of the Queen’s Own Federal Opposition has upped the ante in the parental leave stakes, offering six months of fulltime paid baby face time if he gets elected, which he no doubt sees as a lovely thing for all the housewives out there. This compares with the government’s three months plan which is due to start early next year. Showing that there is little room to move in the Liberal offices right now for all the focus groups, Mr Abbott is obviously embracing the capacity for changing his long held views on some subjects in the name of accurately reflecting the electorate's needs, and would no doubt get all ‘I don’t know what you mean about “buying” votes, c’mon, that sort of stuff is quite offensive’ on your ass if asked why his proposals these days sometimes seem so much at odds with things he said before. Like spending a heap of public money on parental leave when previously he said business should pay. Or proposing to spend $3.2 billion of taxpayer’s hard earned on reducing atmospheric carbon, when previously he said that global warming was ‘absolute crap’. Although vote buying is, of course, a tried and true tactic on both sides of the chamber, some people are now asking if they can trust anything Mr Abbott says. Others have already made up their minds...
keywords: no, ball, no, viewers
ITEM It seems that the cricket isn’t pulling in the ratings it used to, which is hardly surprising given that one team keeps winning all the time, and too cockily with it. You know who I mean, Australia...
keywords: idealism, pride, voosh
ITEM That nice Mr Turnbull remembered an old fashioned political ideal called ‘ideals’ yesterday when he spoke for half an hour on the need for an ETS, despite Liberal opposition to the scheme. It seems that Mr Turnbull spruiked for the ETS in a way that makes Mr Rudd’s comments on it look long-winded, lacking in substance and vague, mainly because Mr Rudd’s comments on it have been long-winded, lacking in substance and vague. Apparently Mr Abbott accidentally heard some of the speech but left the parliamentary chamber so quickly that there was a very loud cartoon-like voosh sound which made everyone smile a bit. Meanwhile, somewhere in the not-to-distant future, another thirsty child is crying...
keywords: the, future, is, here, (there)
ITEM Israel is about to install a national system for electric cars to reduce their reliance on oil while simultaneously increasing their reliance on coal and uranium, although given their proximity to sunny weather hopefully some of the power will come from renewable sources. The plan is to build a national network of power points and battery libraries so you can drive to work, plug the car in and recharge, or go on holidays to view the Freedom Wall, get 160 kilometres down the road and swap your battery for one that’s full. Estimated costs suggest that you’ll be able to do this all for the price of a standard car. It sounds so 21st century, doesn’t it?
keywords: Palin, unethical, compulsory, sighing
ITEM News from the US is not so great in many ways, with word that Sarah Palin is seriously contemplating running for President, making even some conservative voters start wishing for the return of young George Bush Jr, at least he only started two major wars, even if he couldn’t tell his own head from a pumpkin. While Ms Palin won’t officially confirm her intention to run, she did mutter something about people having to prise the presidential nomination from her cold, dead hands. When others stuttered their concerns regarding Ms Palin’s early retirement from her governorship of Alaska, not to mention certain ‘piddly’ unethical conduct allegations and the fact that she’s been a few countries short of a complete world atlas on occasion, Ms Palin got all steely-looking and reminded them that Mr Obama is only seconds away from ordering compulsory abortions for every American, and especially you, grandpa. Meanwhile in Washington, Mr O still appears to holding out for health care reform, despite some people telling him that this particular boat is currently becalmed a little to the north of Venus. This was followed by sounds of Presidential heavy sighing emanating loudly from the Oval Office.
Monday 08 February 2010
keywords: money, going, down, the, drain
ITEM It seems nothing says Sydney’s desalination plant is now up and running and costing squillions quite as effectively as a week of heavy rain... Apparently the recent downpour has been so unusually intense and widespread that some of it even fell in the Warragamba Dam catchment area.
keywords: one, more, after, dinner, mint
ITEM From NSW comes news of the Unnamed Party, which could be formed any day now and run on a platform Mr Creosote’s immigration philosophy (F*** off, we’re full). Some people are saying that increasing numbers of new Australian citizens are going to lead to overcrowding just about everywhere east of the Great Divide, and quite a few places in the west as well, so they’ve suggested that it might be time to shut the gates for a while. The government appears to have already moved in a similar direction, knocking back 20,000 recent applications to migrate on the basis that we already have enough cooks here now, but thanks for asking. Nurses, IT specialists and mining engineers, you'll be pleased to know, are still welcome.
Aw, look, it’s Harold’s first poll. Let us know, completely confidentially, whether you think current migration levels are too high. Is all this talk of 36 million by 2050 either
- a) way too ambitious (Is my Aunt Minnie in here?)
- b) right on the money (I’ve recently invested rather a lot in an apartment building)
- c) or not nearly enough (come on in, there’s room for everyone!)
Take the poll, it's absolutely free, by clicking here.
keywords: that's, not, a, plan, this, is, a, plan
ITEM Also from NSW comes word that the state government’s long awaited transport blueprint (stop laughing, this is serious!) is to be scrapped. Instead we’re about the see... the long awaited transport plan. (I’ve warned you up the back) Known in official circles as the ‘land use and transport plan’, (that’s it, get out now, go and see the headmaster) it's hoped that the plan will soon grow into a concept, then a development, and finally an idea in such a way as to make the conversation in the Annie Hall party scene appear quite rational. The bottom line, however, is that there is still a long long way to go before we finally get to see an actual train attached to the light at the end of this particular (as yet unbuilt) tunnel.
keywords: I've, got, my, head, stuck, in, a, cupboard
ITEM The news from Federal Parliament is mixed, with leader of the Queen’s Own Federal Opposition, Mr Abbott, going out swinging as he attempts to confuse people with his plan to reduce atmospheric carbon (not a blueprint, at least at this stage.) He’s also had to leap to the defence of the nation’s opposition finance spokesman, Barnaby ‘Mr Gumby’ Joyce who may have an anecdote or two about agriculture up his sleeve but appears to know close to the metric equivalent of squat when it comes to how a nation manages its finances of the fiscal kind. Poor Mr Abbott has had to nudge him in the general direction of the office calculator more than a few times of late. Meanwhile across the hall Mr Rudd mumbled something about having to speak more clearly and directly to the electorate in the future, but we didn’t quite catch all of it as it was rather a long sentence filled with far too many big words, a handful of vague aphorisms and a brace of mixed metaphors. With parliament sitting this week and the ETS legislation being prepared for another knock-back – despite the apparent support of that nice Mr Turnbull – there is every chance it could be an interesting week politically speaking, although based on past experience with this lot, I wouldn’t hold your breath.
keywords: sing, along, with, murder!
ITEM Meanwhile, the really interesting news today comes from the Philippines where apparently karaoke singers who attempt the Sinatra classic My Way are being sent on their way – to their doom – with alarming efficiency. Yes, the helpful My Way karaoke killers are out there somewhere, even as we speak, ready to help those who, in their first few bars, evoke images of their end and the final curtain so that not too long afterwards they actually do face an end and a final curtain. The trend has apparently started to spread to other Asian countries as well, with a Malaysian man killed for bogarting the mic and a Thai couple slaughtered for a rendition of Take Me Home Country Roads. It would be funny if it wasn’t quite so tragic, although you have to admit, it’s still a bit funny.
keywords: guns, welcome, here
ITEM In America Sarah Palin has addressed the Tea Party and suggested that it’s time for a second American revolution (or third if you count that messy stuff that happened in the south minutes prior to the commencement of proceedings in the Civil War). In case you haven’t heard, the Tea Party isn’t about cucumber sandwiches and croquet if the rain holds off, but is actually an outfit committed to stopping the commie liberal leftie pinko leftie liberal commies from ruining the country, Bubba. The same people who complain that their taxes are too high appear to support Ms Palin’s radical posturing on the need for de-fence, so expect war to break out on several dozen fronts within days should she ever get into power, not to mention the consequent permanent closure of Fort Knox due to the lonely whistling and rolling tumbleweed-filled emptiness. Ms Palin, looking every inch a power-suited pin up girl if you happen to like that sort of thing, also described the Prez as ‘just a charismatic guy with a teleprompter.’ Quite what Mr O thought of this remark as unknown as he was actually running the country at the time, and still trying to work out how to make things better for everyone.
Saturday 06 February 2010
keywords: no, parking, late, again
ITEM The news from the demographics research laboratories continues to be grim, with the revelation that Australia is going to need a whole lot more stuff built by about yesterday if the impending huge increase in our population is really going to be seen as a positive thing. Apparently the 36 million people who will be living on the new subdivision by 2050 are going to require nearly 7 million new homes, almost 200,000 kilometres of new roads and a whole bunch of shopping centres, schools and 3-D cinemas. The scale of this growth is unprecedented in the country’s history and means the creation of about 80% more houses than currently exist and 50% more roads. And if you’re going to the bar, could you grab me a few dozen extra train lines and a shitload more hospitals while you’re there, please? It should be pointed out that the prospect of nearly doubling our population doesn’t have to be all bad, unless of course we all decide to go to the beach at the same time, like we did last Tuesday. Benefits of having more folk include heaps more consumers to buy products, so get into manufacturing if you want to make a lot of money (who remembers manufacturing?). Additional positive aspects include the fact that we’ll have a whole lot of new friends to make (yay!), even more people to vote out inept NSW Labor governments and finally, at long last, the capacity to play corners on a continental scale.
keywords: another, pint, please
ITEM The good news from the UK is that scientists appear to have discovered how to make a shatterproof pint glass. Now the kind of thug who is into a bit of the old glassing won’t be able to get the blood flowing quite as quickly as they used to, and will have to rely on using the glass to bash to death the poor sod who allegedly looked at their girlfriend and/or boyfriend and/or motorbike in an apparently inappropriate way. Perhaps the answer lies not in the structure, but in the content of the glass.
keywords: rue, roo, rue
ITEM From the streets of the European Union (the other United States) comes word that complaints are being made about the way Australian kangaroos are killed to become dog food and / or low cholesterol human protein every year. Seems that major proportions of Europe are content with the lifestyles (and deathstyles) of their pigs, chickens, cows and other residents of factory farms and can’t countenance the thought of animals roaming around freely, at least up until the time the .22 bullet hits. The problem apparently lies with the fact that each year nearly half a million joeys are pulled from their mother’s pouches and left to die, which does sound pretty heartless when you put it like that. Quite a lot of celebrities seem to be climbing on board the kangaroo bandwagon, while responses from the roo meat people are typified by remarks like ‘but it makes us a lot of money.’ A move to get all people who eat meat to kill their own food was laughed out of the room, so expect comments about animal lovers being extremists, as well as alterations to roo meat packaging to ‘attractivise’ the product being made any day now. What’s that, Skip? Tsk tsk tsk. Indeed.
keywords: oh, say, can, you, see
ITEM Members of a grass roots movement in the States who feel that Mr Obama’s plans for the economy and health care reform are all part of a commie plot are being asked to stump up $US549 if they want to express their outrage and enjoy a few nibblies at the organisation’s first national convention. Guest of honour and keynote speaker at the Tea Party's party, Ms S. Palin of Alaska (just across the way from where the Russkies live) is going to talk about flag-waving, pick-up trucks, gun use in public places and the appropriateness of every citizen wearing a very wide hat. Although she is apparently being paid $100,000 grand for the event, she says the money will go back into the cause, although it seems she is not quite ready to give out details of what the final draft of the balance sheet is going to look like exactly. Presumably in a quiet office far away from all the tumult and shouting Mr Obama is trying to get a few things done, although he's probably also spending a fair bit of time gazing into the middle distance while rubbing his temples and wondering if social reform was really meant to be this difficult, after all, isn’t it meant to help people?
Friday 05 February 2010
keywords: whoa, fella, whoa, there
ITEM News from the offices of the Queen’s Own Federal Opposition suggest Mr Abbott may have come to the realisation that if there’s a person in parliament with the capacity to run off at the mouth more than he himself does, it’s probably the man he would put in charge of the nation’s finances should the Liberals be voted into office later this year. Having opened a box of the Pandoran kind – and not the good kind of blue Pandora either, by the way – and given Mr Joyce his head, Mr Abbott is now finding that he’s a bit of a roughshod maverick in the true sense of the word who is incapable of responding to either the rein or the whip, and you can completely forget carrots. Suggestions yesterday by Mr Joyce that Australia’s overseas aid payments should be reduced seemed to conflict with Mr Abbott’s own (bipartisan) assertions that in fact aid should gradually increase from 0.34 to 0.5% of GDP over the next five years. Mr Tanner, the actual finance minister, went so far as to call Mr Joyce ‘the bearded lady of Australian politics’ but no-one laughed that much because it wasn’t really that funny, not in terms of actual wit and certainly not in terms of what harm Mr Joyce has the actual capacity to do if someone doesn’t get out the big electric maverick tamer really soon now.
keywords: hot, cold, hot, cold, hot
ITEM Well, there you go, any questions on the appropriateness of continuing our foreign aid commitments seemed to be supported by news that, according to DNA, all humans lived together in Africa only 60,000 years ago. Better save a few leftovers for the uncles and aunts, eh? Some of us eventually moved away and turned right to become Australian Aboriginal people, while others hung around hunting elephants and such for another 15,000 years or so. Then we spent a few millennia in the Middle East, hopefully hanging out together and not building Freedom Walls, although it has to be admitted that not too long after this time the war with the Neanderthals ended very badly for the blokes from France. After waiting out the Ice Ages in warmer places, carriers of the Haplogroup R1b genetic marker evidently decided that the cold was so bad they would head to the UK and begin work on a project that would eventually, thousands of years later, become known as the Industrial Revolution, which is now ushering in the age of global warming.
keywords: argue, argue, argue
ITEM Mr Abbott, apparently buoyed by the efforts of the Republicans in the US to block Mr Obama’s attempts at reducing the levels of carbon in the atmosphere, has used the news of their success to suggest to Mr Rudd that it’s all a bit of a waste of time, and why don’t we all go home early next Tuesday instead of this silly ETS vote? Mr Rudd, on the other hand, had a bit of a laff and told Tony to go and do the math, as apparently the Opposition’s scheme to reduce carbon would either allow it to increase reasonably substantially, as reported yesterday, or it would cost a squidge more than the $10 billion over ten years Mr Abbott said it would – but what’s another $20 billion between friends? Meanwhile Mr Obama hasn’t quite given up on his own scheme, although apparently he did use the word ‘incentivising’ at one stage, which is never a very good sign.
keywords: bang, banging, banged, bangle
ITEM In news from other parts of the world, folk in Afghanistan – forgetting they all shared a common grandfather not all that long ago – are getting ready to start shooting each other in earnest as NATO forces prepare for another go at the Taliban. In South Africa the 67-year old President, Jacob Zuma is doing his bit to make love not war by fathering his twentieth baby by his fifth partner. In France, Ilich ‘Carlos the Jackal’ Ramirez Sanchez who apparently once claimed to have killed more than 1500 people in the name of peace in Palestinian is planning to sue a French production company who he says will tarnish his good name. In America Colin Powell, former chairman of the joint chiefs of staff under Mr Bush, has said now he doesn’t mind if there are gay folk in the military although he didn’t like the concept when Mr Bush ran things, as apparently back then too many people in the Oval Office would make stereotyped jokes about having to play show tunes in battle. Thank the deity of your choice that it’s the weekend, and send Mr O some good vibes in case he has a bit of time for some of the old social reform.
Thursday 04 February 2010
keywords: hey, look, at, me
ITEM It’s Christmas time again here at Harold as Mr T Abbott of the Queen’s Own Federal Opposition teams up with Mr B Joyce (Real Monster Raving Loony Party) to start selling the Coalition’s climate change reduction scheme. (It’s only a model. Ssh!) Their game plan was obviously the one first presented here in Harold on 07 December, which is that Mr Abbott runs most of the Opposition policy releases while Mr Joyce runs most of the interference. Which, it seems Mr Joyce managed brilliantly yesterday, pushing Mr Abbott’s intentions in terms of carbon reduction right off the front pages. Instead we had a report of Mr Joyce’s address to the National Press Club. Apparently Mr Joyce is keen on cutting back on Australia’s overseas aid commitments. Although he said ‘It’s not a matter of cutting aid budgets,’ apparently it’s actually a matter of cutting aid budgets. Mr Joyce also stated his intention to sack a significant percentage of the public service if the Coalition came to power, showing that threatening to sack public servants is obviously testing well in ‘what affects your voting intention’ focus group studies. And then there was that bit about how global warming was all a con because there was still snow in Europe this winter, and they even saw some at the Copenhagen conference. How we laughed.
keywords: down, up, down, up
ITEM Any doubt over Mr Abbott’s feelings regarding climate change have at last been dispelled with news that the $3.2 billion scheme to reduce atmospheric carbon may actually cause it to increase, possibly by as much as 13%, which kind of contradicts Mr Abbott’s stated intention for all the expenditure of public money. Tony Tony Tony. No wonder you need Barnaby to get on the front page. Although some of the costings also looked a tad dubious, the intention of Mr Abbott’s plan became apparent when it was revealled that it is ‘simpler to explain and does not increase the cost of living like the ETS.’ Oh my God. We’re being sold the VHS of climate change reduction schemes, while the government is trying to flog us Betamax. Meanwhile scientists (remember them, Tony?) have said they are doubtful the carbon sequestration / pay polluters to pollute less even as they go about their normal operating activities scheme can work, partly because they’re not really sure all that carbon can be put in the ground quite so easily, and partly because of the ‘hey fellas, we don’t have to pollute less, way-hey!’ mentality of some of the big players currently pumping rather a lot of carbon in the general direction of up.
keywords: quiet, drink, what, tha???
ITEM Hoteliers appearing before a government inquiry into youth violence have claimed that although the number of pub brawls has remained relatively static in recent years, the level of viciousness in each brawl had increased. So the quantity has remained the same, but bar patrons have become more efficient in metering out the biff. Productivity increases, isn’t that what it’s all about these days? Why whack someone over the back of the head with one of those plywood stools that splinters at the first touch of an occipital plate when you can go all HBO Oz on their ass and really teach them a lesson for whatever reason it is that you have desperately decided they need some education of the knife wielding, glassing, putting the boot in kind. When asked if one solution to all the violence was better bouncer training, the Australian Hotels Association representative responded that this might be a bit of a problem seeing that there were a few limitations vis a vis the ‘gene pool’ of available bouncers. Ye Gads...
keywords: down, up, down, up
ITEM Meanwhile in Washington, US Defence Secretary Robert Gates suggested abandonment of current US strategic planning which attempts to have the US ready to fight two conventional wars at any one time. Acknowledging the fact that the US was currently already engaged in two conventional wars, the suggestion from Mr Gates did kind of lean towards the potential for the US to be involved in more than two conventional wars at one time if they had to be, although it wouldn’t be their fault if they were, and they weren’t very sure how the mothers of all the potential recruits felt about this. The good news is that in order to fund some of the potential new conflicts, the US is considering cutting down slightly on the nuclear arsenal, which is something the Russians are also realising that they’ve been spending quite a lot of money on over the last few years, and do we really need 2200 atomic weapons, wouldn’t 1500 be enough? Presumably Mr Obama is in the library at the moment, working out how to do social reform and keep the generals happy at the same time. We suspect that there’s quite a lot more reading to do before you come up with a solution to that particular quandary, Mr O.
Wednesday 03 February 2010
keywords: hmm, artificial fabric, noice...
ITEM Mr T Abbott of the Queen’s Own Federal Opposition donned yet another outfit yesterday in his bid to capture the couturier vote in this year’s yet to be announced federal election. In recent days we’ve had boardshorts at the surfclub, moleskins at the farm, nylons on the beach and now it’s lyrca on the bicycle. To be fair, Tony actually looks quite at home on the old Malvern Star.
keywords: burn, baby, burn
ITEM More on Mr Abbott, this time in relation to his long awaited carbon sequestration plan and magic show, the Abbott carbon carrot to Mr Rudd's ETS stick. Yes folks, Mr Abbott intends to reduce Australia’s carbon emissions by getting you to pay for it! That's right, $3.2 bill of taxpayers hard earned is going to be handed across to the polluters to reduce their carbon output. There's no need for legislation. No need to make them reduce their emissions. Oh yeah, by the way, the ante ups to $10 bill over the course of the decade, so expect the disappearance of that badly needed new hospital / school / transport system somewhere near you any day now. Of course Mr Abbott’s plan does also kinda sorta rely on the big carbon emitters thinking that that the profit they’re already making is not enough and needs to be augmented by taking some of Tony’s handout if they do a bit of fine tuning to the nozzle on the big chimney. About 85 million tonnes of carbon is also going to be returned to the soil, although quite how it is going to be removed from the atmosphere or prevented from getting up there, and then turned into some form of agriculture friendly rock or wood-like substance remains to be seen. And, 20 million trees will be planted, mainly in the cities, apparently. Given that before parliament yesterday Mr Abbott went and chatted to a bunch of farmers who are keen to be allowed to strip mine their properties of all vegetation if they feel it will help them to have a better day, it’s probably best that the trees will be planted in the cities anyway, as there's a chance they'll actually survive there. Until the waves come, anyway.
keywords: shovel, excavate, produce hole
ITEM With news that the government’s poll numbers are going down even as the ALP would really be preferring them to sit still, or even start going the other way seeing that this is an election year and all, Mr Rudd has manned up and admitted he needs to be a better communicator in order to tell the Australian people about all the wonderful things his government is doing, or would do in many cases if the pesky Senate would let him. Mr Rudd, who can rather go on at times, even more on occasion than the previous record holder Mr K ‘Prolix’ Beazley, needs more adherence to the KISS principle, which in this case is not something to be applied to random babies found in the nearest shopping centre, but the Keep It Simple paradigm. Damn, did I say paradigm? The problem is that Mr Rudd has rather a lot of trouble calling a ‘metal-ended, wooden handled hand-held earth moving device which he has in his shed, you have one in your shed, Kerry, we’ve probably all got one, the point is, you put it in the ground the few times and voilà, there’s your hole, strewth bloke’, a spade. Perhaps Mr Rudd could a) remember that the hole is actually the one he's in because he's not explaining stuff to the electorate very well, and b) take a lesson in plain speaking from Mr Abbott who can sum up decades of scientific research on climate change including all its raw data, prepared documents, scientific papers, extrapolations, implications and ramifications in just two words: ‘absolute crap.’
keywords: more, money, please
ITEM Somewhere in America in a secret airforce base funded with some of the US military’s $722ish billion annual operating budget – which has risen more than 140% since 9/11 – Airforce One is being given the big clean and polish in preparation for the upcoming trip to Australia in March. See yesterday’s Harold for our report on the quantities of drool and saliva now being produced by ALP staffers the nation over as they consider photo ops with the Prez and the PM in just about any conceivable and/or compromising position. Before he heads to Bondi, however, and the opportunity to really show how a pair of Speedos should be worn, Mr Obama is facing the challenging position of having to increase his government’s spending on job creation while simultaneously reducing government spending to stop the deficit from becoming just ridiculous. At the same time there is the small matter of the dual wars being fought and a few cost blowouts that will inevitably occur there as the defence force equipment suppliers stiff the government for all they can get away with, not to mention the very real costs of fuel, ammo and disability pensions. Somewhere amongst all this we presume Mr Obama still hopes to do something in the way of social reform.
Tuesday 02 February 2010
keywords: senile, sensible, sanctuary
ITEM Release of the Intergenerational Report which looks at just where Australia is heading demographics-wise for the next few years has caused much shaking of heads, murmuring and concerned looks in various places where such documents are read. Thankfully though there were a few graphs, flow charts and dot point breakdowns included with the text so it was possible in the end to get some idea what it all meant. The upshot is that we, as a nation, are getting collectively older. While this is great news in terms of sensible driving, sensible shoes and sensible movies, it’s not so hot in terms of who is going to pay for all the hip replacements, knee replacements, valve replacements and extra parking spaces down at the club. By 2050 there are going to twice as many old people compared to young people as there are now, so did I mention sensible music? The breakdown looks like this: at the moment people over 65 in Australia comprise 13% of the population, in forty years it’ll be 25%. Right now there are five tax payers hard at it for every person over 65, soon there will be only 2.7. So the big question is, who is going to pay for the dentures, subsidised train travel and aforementioned sundry replacements? Here in 2010 a quarter of government spending goes on pensions and aged care, by 2050 this will rise to a half. Good Lord. That’s a lot of money, particularly if Australia’s population keeps rising the way it is, so that there’ll be 36 million folk down at the beach for Straya Day that year, although the government is saying that the population may not be allowed to get that big because there won’t be enough trains, roads, hospitals, houses etc to put everyone in. Of course our population could rise much much higher if we’re invaded by China, as rumour has it we will be, particularly the ones we started spreading in our 19 January issue. For those of you reading this current edition of Harold in some future archive, possibly even via the mechanics of an English to Mandarin translation device, I have two pieces of information to give you. Firstly: ‘Life clocks are a lie! Carousel is a lie! There is no renewal!!!’ and secondly: ‘Soylent Green is people!’
keywords: why, what, where
ITEM Discussions of the iPad continue to include frequent repeated use of the word ‘Why?’ with an occasional ‘What?’ and ‘Huh?’ thrown in for good measure. Harold feels that if a computer company really wanted to make a few bucks, it could do worse than design a device which resembled an iPhone, but which also functioned as a credit card, car key, passport and universal household device controller. Think about it – it would be the only thing you would have to lug around with you: no more keys, wallets, ID and all that other stuff. Just one handy portable thing which you could also ring if you lost it at home saving you thousands of hours every year which you currently spend looking for the damn remote.
keywords: trillion, Trapper, turning point
ITEM From America comes news that the Prez has been hard at it working on the budget. Official estimates have now been locked in at $3.8 trillion for the 2011 financial year, which given that government income in the US is going to raise about $2.5 trillion leaves about $1.3 trillion left to find. This amount is officially known in some circles as a deficit, and in others, particularly many of the suburbs of Beijing, as a fantastic lending opportunity, but you pay it all back by Friday or we send Tony and the boys around every week for the interest until you do. In a veiled swipe at the previous president, George Bush Jr, Mr Obama noted that part of the reason for the government’s financial problems was the debt incurred ‘after what can only be described as a decade of profligacy.’ Oh yeah, he also mentioned the war (don’t mention the war) and the mystery of the 7 million jobs currently missing from the national workforce. Sadly that’s a lot of crack that has to be sold to make up for the vanished pay packets, so possibly the answer is a Crack Tax, which has a good ring to it, you have to admit. Seeing the war has been raised as a topic – not by us, it was Mr Obama! – it would be interesting to learn just what proportion of the $3.8 very bloody large is going to be blown on camouflage uniforms, basic training, Predator drones and M*A*S*H sequels. Apparently a few dollars of the US budget may also be spent on Mr Obama visiting Australia, and wouldn’t Mr Rudd look simply grand standing next to the Prez anytime soon before the election. There is probably a lot of salivating going on right now in various ALP branches at the prospect of that particular series of photo opportunities. Meanwhile, in America, a spending freeze on government programs is one part of the strategy Mr Obama is using to dig the nation out of its current economic downturn, which at this point more resembles a vast yawning pit than the speedbump which Mr O expected to find when he first came into the Oval Office and contemplated which archaic entrenched governmental practise he was going to rollback first in the name of long-awaited social reform.
Monday 01 February 2010
keywords: holidays, bottoms, alphitomancy
ITEM After another weekend of drownings, car accidents and millionaire disappearances, Australia has awoken to the fact that it is February already. It appears undeniable, but time is definitely speeding up. OK, it seems like it is speeding up. One place it is certainly speeding up is in Federal parliament where all you can hear right now is the sound of ministerial dustbusters going gangbusters. Even as we speak, a plethora of parliamentary seats are being cleaned, cushions are being plumped and in some cases entire lounges are being re-upholstered in preparation for a myriad of elected posteriors coming back from holidays, sundry study trips aka holidays and a periods spend working from home, aka yet more holidays. The reason time is speeding up is because it is an election year. That’s right, folks, unless things really go arse up for our PM, he’ll call for a vote sometime in the next nine or ten months. The thing is, if the Senate rejects his ETS in the next few days, or some of his health care legislation, he can have a go at having a double dissolution election. This will give him a chance to clean out some of the senatorial dead wood sitting on the minor party cross-benches, and by dead wood I mean some senators of the independent kind who thus far have been pretty keen to vote against him. The reason Mr Rudd knows they will probably fail to get re-elected is complicated, but has to do with the labyrinthian system of quotas and preferences which the major parties have now worked out how to stack in their favour by use of a bunch of mathematicians interested in such stuff, a brace of mainframes, that kid in the mailroom who can see dead people, a quiet word to Anthony Green and on occasion a spot of the old extispicy, or alphitomancy in the case of Mr Joyce.
keywords: 'r' word, reality, reaction
ITEM A magazine in India has used a word incapable of being uttered by Australian foreign minister Stephen Smith, and I’m not talking about Rajanigandha. No, sadly the word is ‘racism’ and it is a concept that those who haven’t been on the wrong edge of a snide remark, superior attitude, whispered disparagement, rolled eye, shouted comment, rage distorted face or ball bat swung with malice and aforethought are perhaps more likely to pretend doesn’t exist down under. Yet for many people in Australia the reality of racism is a daily occurrence. Why racism should suddenly have disappeared after 231 years, including a large period when the white Australia policy was officially sanctioning it and allowing it to thrive, is hard to say. The government needs to be getting the message out that all racism is wrong. One Nation was wrong, Mr Abbott, no matter how many votes eventually drifted across to the Liberal Party. Remember all the flag waving the other day, Mr Rudd? That is coming perilously close to nationalistic fervour, and you should be reminding people that since 1788 when England took Australia away from the Aborigines, that it is here for everyone who now lives here to share, including the 300,000 people each year who immigrate here or who come to work and study on long-term visas. By the way, Mr Rudd, you might also want to address the whole dispossession thing at some stage, possibly in the form of compensation to the Indigenous as they’ve done in New Zealand and Canada, for example, without the sky falling in. I know that’s a bit of a big ask when members of your government can’t even admit that racism exists, but sometimes idealism must trump expediency, although not nearly often enough in the ALP these days, it has to be said.
keywords: port, potted meat, hare, voom
ITEM Mr Abbott of the Queen’s Own Federal Opposition has been packing his port and wrapping his potted meat sandwiches in greaseproof paper for the trip back to Canberra after the hols. Just before he got on the train, however, he started talking again, which is something he has been told not to do, but someone called his name, and there he went, off like a Pavlovian greyhound after a startled bunny, although in this case the bunny is the opportunity to try and drum up a couple more votes no matter what they cost and the greyhound is the first thing that pops into his head. On this occasion it was the right of farmers to destroy the last few examples of various species of flora and fauna on their land – remembering of course that one of the reasons these are the last few examples is because of all the other destruction the farmers have done over the years with the ploughing and ring barking and use of the big bulldozer. Yes, it is undeniable that the farmers grow the food and we know it's not easy what with the drought and the boarding school fees, but perhaps it can be pointed out that if they really do love the land like they say they do, then they have obligations to be custodians of it as well. Mr Abbott didn’t say this, however, and instead started reminding people that Mr Rudd’s ETS is a ‘great big tax’. Mr Rudd shot back that Mr Abbott’s environmental alchemy of carbon sequestration is a ‘huge megatax.’ Expect the adjectives and superlatives to continue being rolled out. It’s going to be an interesting year.
keywords: Washington, busy, McNulty
ITEM In the US, Mr Obama continues to battle congress. I mean, have you seen The Wire? I know Mr Obama has, and it’s no wonder he’s trying to get something done over there.
Previous Issues
January 2010
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